Double Your Happiness

Does it sound like a line from some slick advertising, how to double your happiness in three easy moves? Those advertisers know that successful ads are based on desires but I am not trying to sell you anything...just alter your perspective a little. You know I love to reuse and use up everything; nothing goes to waste. So why not double up on happiness.

Everyone has a different “set point” for happiness just like we have different internal temperature settings, so don’t compare your thermostat to someone else’s. That is actually one of the happiness tips. These set points can also change over the span of your life. I used to love the beach but now I run hot, so I love cool climates. Are you drawn to something opposite or unique from the ordinary? Experiencing happiness may mean having a unique experience, but I am looking at the long-term internal happiness, not just momentary gratification.

Find Focus and Purpose

I just returned from hosting a 90th birthday bash for my mother. She was a nurse in the same hospital for most of her long career. She has seen a lot of things change in the medical field but the constant I have seen in her life is her caring and giving nature. She sees the best in people and focuses on that. She knows that healing is more than tending the body, it means tending the heart and soul as well. She has been a steady guiding light in my assorted journeys through life and from the size of the crowd at her party, she has been a guide for many. When you are satisfied with your work, you tend to be happier and happy people attract more happiness.

When you have a focus and purpose in your life you will be happier. Every day may be viewed as a step toward the goal. When you are grateful for the opportunity to move toward your goal, you get to enjoy the happiness of say creating your art everyday as you work toward your goal of being a better artist, cook, writer or whatever your purpose is. When you reach your goal, you get the double happiness dose because you can relive the joyous and focused steps that got you to your purpose and goal.

A goal that connects you with others will bring longer lasting happiness than a goal to simply achieve something or buy something. What is the broader purpose of your goal? Will it help someone else? If it will, you get a double dose of happiness. Learning in a group environment can elevate both you and the group. I always learn something from my students. Life is filled with teachers and if you keep your head up and your eyes open you will be able to learn and climb together.

Cooperation Brings Double Doses of Joy

Are your goals competitive or cooperative? Are you comparing yourself to the success of others? Be honest. I have done it as well. But does it make you happy? Either you feel inadequate or you put someone else down to push yourself up. This never leads to happiness. When you help others obtain their goals along with your own, you get even more than double the happiness. Recall a success that you achieved long ago. Does it still carry the same emotional ping that it did? Now recall a time that you helped someone from the kindness in your heart. Does it still carry the same ping of joy as it did initially? I think it even grows stronger. Can you give something that will enable others to give something of themselves? This keeps the good times rolling.

How can you focus on the cooperative goal of doing better yourself and lifting others up as well? A simple compliment can go a long way toward this. I love teaching because it brings joy to all of us when someone makes the learning leap. Why would I want to teach someone and not share with them how to be their best? Doesn’t make sense to me...let’s all learn together and rise higher. We circle back to that shadow of doubt and comparison. We are all struggling along, and we aren’t perfect, so when you catch yourself comparing, stop and say I am grateful I am me. I am the best me I can be right now, and I shine my light bright so others may find me.

Focus on the Positive

When you can focus on the positive and let the negative impressions get lost, you will get a big double dose of happiness. Our memories are malleable and what you focus on you will retain. Imagine you are invited to a party and initially you are apprehensive about going, but part of you really wants to go. You are getting ready and the outfit you were going to wear that makes you feel really good about yourself was in the hamper, so you wore something different. You drive to the party and can’t find the address, so you arrive late. You walk in and don’t recognize anyone, so you grab a drink and proceed to hold up the corner. You tell yourself that this is a disaster, so when a person from a gallery you were hoping to meet comes over to you the conversation doesn’t go as you had hoped it would. Now when you walk past that gallery the only thing you can think about is all the mishaps that led nowhere.

Let’s take a different route. You are invited to the party, and you have the same apprehension about attending. Your favorite outfit isn’t wearable, so you put together something new. You feel rather striking and daring in your not so usual black dress. Maybe it’s the red shoes! You still get lost and arrive late to the party and don’t recognize anyone when you enter, but you put on a big smile, grab a drink and look for another “lost soul”. As you begin chatting you share your stories of arriving to the party and how you were kind of dreading coming, but now you are having a good time meeting someone new. Your new friend actually knows the gallery owner and introduces you. Now when you walk past that gallery you recall with joy the first time you met your new friend and got introduced to the gallery owner. When you focus on the positive you get the double dose of happiness by recalling the memory and living in the present situation that makes you happy.

As a creative soul you are more apt to pay attention to your surroundings. Set a goal for yourself to find five things to be grateful for today. When you go to sleep, recall those five things and let them fill you with happiness. The joy of your pet, the abundance of the garden, the arrival of new paints, a smile from a stranger or even the unexpected parking space. Simple acts. What can you put out into the world to make it a happier place? You get to choose what you focus on, pick happiness and joy.